MFK - Final Fantasy VII

I figured it was time to do an MFK of my all time favorite thing in the universe.  Fellow blogger Kat McIntyre of Rants on Unicorns and Spaceships fame may chime in!

Guys: Cloud, Vincent, Sephiroth
Girls: Tifa, Yuffie, Aeris

Guys:

Cloud - Kill.  Sorry Cloud you didn't become a useful human being until after the girl you were supposed to protect was killed right in front of you.  Then you went into heroic BSOD for a while and let your other love interest handle things.  Hell, even after she was killed Aeris did way more than you ever could.  You're kinda cute, but you have to die.  Sorry.

Vincent - Marry.  Poor Vincent...the woman you loved was used for a sick experiment by an even sicker mad scientist then you had your arm cut off and were locked in a coffin beneath the Shinra Mansion for what 30 years?  And you STILL love her?!  You don't find that kind of devotion every day, plus you're a pretty goth boy sort of vampire/werewolf thing, which was okay before Twilight ruined everything.

Sephiroth - Sweet merciful Cthulhu FUCK FUCK FUCK and then FUCK some more.  Not only did one of the songs associate with you just come on my iPhone (Chasing the Storm) because the universe just KNOWS, but oh my God...I can't even.   I wouldn't even have the muscle control to fall to my knees; I would just fall over.  I would be like when Dean Pelton saw Jeff wearing aviators and just laid there convulsing and screaming "Look at his shadow!"  I am so lucky that no one in real life is actually that beautiful because I would be done.  My life would equal over.  I don't even care about the insanity.  That just makes it better.

Girls:

Tifa - Fuck.  She has an awesome rack and is a martial artist.  Sounds like a phenomenal romp.

Yuffie - Kill.  You annoyed the crap out of me Yuffie.  I had no use for you at all.

Aeris - Marry.  Um, she's "heiress" to the Planet (yeah...I know her name was supposed to be "Aerith," which is still an anagram for "I Earth," don't get sassy!) and was the most powerful person in the entire game (think about it for a moment).  She managed to save everyone even after or rather because she was martyred, which is the point where all of you "Phoenix Down" people need to shut the hell up.  Dying in game because you get killed by an enemy is far different from dying as a plot point. Think about it as if it were a novel.  Gah, this will turn into a rant really soon if I keep it up.  Suffice it to say I'm attracted to power.

Kat McIntyre's Take.

Guys:

Cloud - Kill.  He gets kinda wangsty at times and with how big that buster sword is, he's obviously overcompensating.

Vincent - Marry.  He had excellent fashion taste (come on, who doesn't love that red cloak).  Besides, he's quiet and aloof, just the way I like 'em.

Sephiroth - Fuck.  Come on, who doesn't want to take a tumble with a bad boy?

Girls:

Yuffie - Marry.  Yes, I'm probably the only person on the planet who'd pick her, but I loved Yuffie.  Tiny, hyper, ninja chick.

Tifa - Fuck.  She's the bangable girl next door!  Who wouldn't give that a go.

Aeris - Kill.  Sorry Aeris, but you're going to end up as Lifestream stew.