MFK Zodiac Style

MFK or Marry, Fuck, Kill is an old concept that I just found out about thanks to fellow blogger Kat McIntyre (check the blogginess here.  Tis awesome.) and now I can't stop thinking about it.  This one is for the Zodiac/Astrological signs broken up by element (Earth, Air, Fire, Water for the uninitiated).  I'll give my take on which one's I'd marry, fuck or kill, and I'd be delighted with other views to the same.

***Please do not take any of this to heart if your sign got axed.  If you're my friend I love you regardless of what insanity the stars instilled in your brain.  This is just my general take.  K, am I good?  I'm good.***

Earth - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Taurus - Marry.  Tauruses are AWESOME!  We (yes, I said WE) love beauty and comfort, sensuality and order.  We are rockstar with money, have fifty contingency plans for everything, and if shit gets too intense we nap until everything calms down.  I thankfully get along famously with the other members of my sign regardless of their gender.  While we may be stubborn, we always have the best interests at heart :)

Virgo - Fuck.  Come on their shameless narcissists for a reason!  Also non-confrontational so if you ask them to do something, they probably won't fight you on it.

Capricorn - Kill.  My way or the highway?  Mmkay, go get run over.

Fire - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Aries - Marry.  You crazy mofos.  Life would never be boring with your spastic, frenetic energy, and if it got too intense I'd just hide someplace and take a nap.  Besides Tauruses I get along with Aries best.  Plus the name of your sign is an anagram for "Aeris" and "Aesir," which my kingdom of nerd is pretty damn kickass.

Leo - Fuck.  If Aries are spastic awesome, then Leos are crazy awesome.  Best people to get into bed.

Sagittarius - Kill.  Sorry guys.  I can't deal with the bluntness usually directed at something that needs a delicate touch.

Water - Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio

Pisces - Kill kill and double kill.  I cannot take the wishy-washy whining that seems to be a staple of your sign.  The dearth of logic makes my head pound.  I'm very emotional, but I can temper that with good old common sense, and I also don't make important decisions when I'm a basket case.  It's never a good idea.  I could talk about Pisces for a while, but then this post would turn into a rant.

Cancer - Marry.  Out of all of the water signs I'd tie the knot with Cancer.  Water and earth really don't mix (you get mud, bleh), and Cancers tend to be very emotional with quick mood changes, but I'm also a big empath so I can usually tell when the tidal wave is going to hit and can make myself scarce (nap time anyone?).

Scorpio - Fuck.  Yes...I know I am married to a Scorpio in reality, and dear lord are they super secretly emotional.  At least with Cancers it's all out in the open.  With a Scorpio you're all like, "Holy shit you feel that way?  Are you serious?  Why didn't you--oh super secret, gotcha..."  But Scorpios happen to be the opposite sign to Taurus and some of their super secrets aren't all that bad.

Air - Aquarius, Gemini, Libra

 Aquarius - Definitely marry.  Aquarius's are highly intelligent and all about facts, facts, facts.  This fits well with my Taurus figures, figures, figures.  I can have long conversations with an Aquarius, and while they, too, can be blunt (I'm looking at you Sagittarius), their bluntness is more geared toward how things just are and less about kicking you in the feels. 

Gemini - Sorry Gemini I have to kill you.  You're so up in the air sometimes that you miss that you're saying very hurtful things even when it's obvious it's upsetting, even when I'm telling you to stop.  You're not my least favorite sign at all, but I had to pick one air to die and well, it's you.  No hard feelings?  Just turn the other cheek.

Libra - Fuck.  Libra is my moon sign and also ruled by Venus, and I'm all about the beauty!